Drown in distractions

The thunder of music cuts the clouds
it slits, but they still
it roars, but they still
the painful clouds of clamorous silence.

The murmur of movies drains the clouds
it blurs, but they still
it rains, but they still
and each drop screams up in silence.

The clatter of glasses blows the clouds
it whirls, but they still
it dopes, but they still
and each breeze stinks nauseous silence.

The crackle of cigarettes hides the clouds
it burns, but they still
it chokes, but they still
and each ashen knock groans in silence.

The amble of paces flees the clouds
it begs, but they still
it shakes, but they still
and each painful cloud shrills in silence.

Benyamin Bensalah

15.07.2021

Attila József: BANQUET OF GREAT GIFTS

I give you a fist big ruby diamond,
Hang it around your neck and watch it shine on
Above your heart, in the middle of your breast,
Marvel how it glows, like embers, its lustre.

I weave a crown with my eyes for you,
As a goddess, I come to you so
I lay your way with silk and rhymes,
But don’t walk on it – it grows sighs.

If you’re thirsty, I’ll give you the finest wine,
But I leave a few darkening tears inside
And if you feel that the taste is bitter -,
Just drink it, there is no sweeter.

When your body feels cold, I give you my soul,
I wrap your two shoulders with velvet shawl.
And my trembling brain if you’re hungry -,
With me, you’ll be never needy.

And if your tired body wants to rest,
Rest in my arms, – there is no softer bed
And because you will need protection one day:
Accept, please, accept my arms to stay.

Accept them, and do with them whatever you feel,
Though you can’t be cruel to me.
Even if you don’t come, they will all remain yours,
They won’t be called back by weak hours.

Benyamin Bensalah

09.07.2021

Translated from the Hungarian poem of Attila József, “NAGY AJÁNDÉKOK TORA” (1922).

Play On

Have you ever asked the toy
you were playing with
if it liked to be your toy?
It is all nice that it’s a toy,
fulfilling its purpose
to play with, innit?
No matter leaving it
in the darkness of the night
for hours, right?
Or forgetting it in hurry
while preparing
for a hell of a weekend.
No thoughts of such
as the first minute hurts
just as the 1440th and so.
The minute of turning off the light
heading out or to the fridge
hurts the same infinity.
You haven’t thought about it
how is it to be alone
have you?
How is it to swing
between having a purpose
and being in senseful nonexistence?
Oh, how would you
when your grief lasts no more
than a minute when it disappears?

Benyamin Bensalah

06.07.2021

Course

Life serves us lessons all the time
most of them are unwanted
coming from something else wanted
unasked, coming from something else asked
unprepared, being for something else prepared
we pretend they haven’t happened
until they come back again and again
till we learn the lesson
being another us
to pretend
we are ready for the next lesson
that will never happen.

Benyamin Bensalah

04.07.2021

Latey

Knocking on the classroom door,
my name bursts up from behind in laughter –
I wished to apologise before,
but the elementary needed no excuser.

Something was going on,
I was rather stated than asked on –
then, I was gone,
but the same things were going on.

Everybody came just a bit early,
I was just a bit late –
This is how you become highschool enemy
who brings up silence full of hate.

Something was wrong,
I was rather startled than got along –
I’ve never meant to belong,
but the same things were going on.

Being late, at the wrong time,
at the wrong place
with the wrong mind, with the wrong face
all the time.

25.06.2021

Benyamin Bensalah

Déjà vu

I’ve seen my own death
an infinite time,
I’ve seen my own life
an infinite time;
all imaginary.

The escape of myself
is imaginary,
that I can belong
is imaginary;
cruel reality.

My incapacities form
this cruel reality,
my emptiness forms
this cruel reality;
pain.

All I’ve lived with
is pain,
all I’ve served
is pain;
endlessly.

I’ve seen my own life
endlessly,
I’ve seen my own death
endlessly;
as imaginary.

22.06.2021

Benyamin Bensalah

LMB

Limbic system overloads.
Memory is full.
Blocked from further access.

Living-dying continously.
Meaninglessly.
Being a spiral of humans.

Limbo painted grey realities.
Merging with the void.
Bored of facing this alone.

Benyamin Bensalah

17.06.2021

Dat moment

The very moment I felt peace

had no aggregate;

I could not grave in stone as I wished,

had no time;

as if I’ve been such happy timelessly,

had no details;

only peace in my heart and mind,

but it had a name

which is yours

such as I am.

Benyamin Bensalah

06.06.2021

The Age of the Blackholes

Floating silhouettes in the darkness of the space;
history formed us through eras
from simple solid objects with fix dynamics
into an unknown, hideous mass.

We share the shape that’s not our shape,
only the abstract play of our past;
how and what lightbeam we hide away,
push away and blend is mistery.

We share a space that’s not our space,
what we lived surpasses all;
then, when we collide we create a new,
another place never seen.

We share an age that’s not our age,
our past is mere illusion,
faintly reflecting on the present
that is already unknown.

Floating mysterious mass of data,
unseenable, unreadable;
we are nothingness- and infinity-close
big noisy-silent mess of backholes.

Benyamin Bensalah

03.06.2021

Key and Treasure

You may have been born with struggles,

you may be a little bit of mess,

but you are the most worth of my snuggles,

the one I will ever miss.

You made me cry out of happiness,

your voice echoes in my brain,

you are the cure of my chronic loneliness,

you’ve been born with my key.

A key I’ve lost without ever having,

you found me with it in your hands,

I’ve lost the human ability of begging,

but I can’t face that this feeling ends.

Benyamin Bensalah

03.06.2021