Lyndaffodils

It’s been thousand years in a clumsy meander
Questioning questions without any answer.

Being a genius; I must find solution,
Why my heart is inside her pollution.

She is a true radioactive source,
Flaring up the dark essence of my soul’s.

I approached the fact that I am affected;
Telling her within all the rules respected:

Please, my pureness, I implore!
You and I are a wondrous lore!

Please, my wonder, I do not lie!
Even to your father I’d give a try!

Please, my goodness, you turn me out good!
Say I’m in your friendzone. Say the sooth!

She won’t say that ever, neither the sooth,
But I feel our souls harmoniously smooth.

In doubt, smoothness is just a bunch of spikes,
Causing me pain pain and thousand whys.

Why she lives so pure, why I do,
Why she doesn’t see me as I do.

Even my own existence had been to fool,
If I was worth life at least as a tool.

She warned me, not to write to her-
I liked it as a masochist the dolour.

I applied the warning of my mistress,
Knowing that I deserve only pain and stress.

Then, when I saw her, I turned my head,
She’s better to see me arrogant than sad.

In a sudden, I found a blossom without sense,
She was in need of my soul’s dark essence.

I kept sharing, being happy,
For I can make her happy.

I’ve become a bee, steady,
Letting my flower to study.

We’ve been experiencing well,
Being together, fearing hell.

However, the problem is still active,
I can’t stop thinking of my radioactive.

I feel my dark essence shouldn’t be dark,
I feel her brightness needs my art.

I’m not a choosy person, just a tool,
Neither am a player, just a fool.

Being less genius, I found no law for this,
I’m await for God may He will solve this.

Benyamin Bensalah

14.06.2017

Wicked life story

At the last moment, every creature tries to break up towards the light when the last breath is about to say hello to the darkness… That is the monster, what others know hope.


Me: I did love you.

You don’t love me anymore?!

Me: You don’t believe in love. I shouldn’t love you. Doubts kill me. While…

…I love you.

Me: Me too.

Benyamin Bensalah

20.09.2018

In her nurture

The wind is my mild breath
          
                 The sunshine is my caring sight

The grass will be my smooth fingers

                                 When you desire to go out.

Benyamin Bensalah

31.07.2018

DBD

Hours, days, weeks and months make a queue,
In what, things don’t renew but redo;
While blue stays blue, and two remains two,
The only new is the thought of you;
My fragrant tulip with a crystal drop of dew,
Causer of my heart’s purr and mew,
This is how I wish Happy BDay, and I love you.

Benyamin Bensalah

10.06.2019

Limbo cry: do WE still exist?

Once, I told you I wished we were free to our will
to be together as I do want it still –
without made up social contracts as religions;
what does love do with ruling nations?

Meeting you was fate of coincidences, that
we were sharing in life the same debt
from our parents and ancestors, the curse
that we cannot be good, only worse.

I’ve almost accepted the curse as my nature
when I met your highly pure feature
to learn, and go, not to giving up to learn,
but our demons led to give up to earn.

Breaking under hardship, seduction and pride,
concepts of dignity, the weak human mind –
I don’t know what could push us away so far;
but both of us stopped fighting who we are.

“If we met in a bar”, “if I could turn back time”,
“returning seven years old, would I do the same crime?” –
such questions pop up with no sense of reality
because we have but pictures, then we see through our cavity.

We believed it’s over – even if I didn’t and don’t wish so,
call it martyrdom, dignity – I don’t think so;
we just gave up on reality that we both adored;
and now we are living hell for it with no reward at all.

How much suffering, a mortal soul could bear
until recognizing that forgiveness is our divine elixir;
forgiving for giving up on us, forgetting the pain –
just like a wicked god-story; repent or suffer in vain.

Benyamin Bensalah

11.05.2020

Another night without you

Another night in white smoke –
Looking at the stars that tell nothing,
Telling many foolish things about man’s nature,
But about us, nothing.

Another night in white smoke –
It relieves my soul that is my brain,
Curing a heart that now beats in someone else,
Take care of my world, darlin’.

Another night in white smoke –
How am I still here, so miserable,
The world around me is just pictures of my eyes,
Without you, nothing is real.

Another night in white smoke –
Finding a peaceful sleep to my chest,
I used to look at the mirror through you, having a soul,
Having a heart… and you know the rest.

Another night in white smoke –
It’s better now, but how’s the morning?
Oh, you who believe in God, tell him about your love,
That your love is dead and you are mourning…
Tell HIM, since he knows the best.

Benyamin Bensalah

17.09.2018

Roaming around her

From a room to a room,
I’m running;
Opening a door after a door –
All in my imaginary.

A room has chanting music,
Another dead silence;
I trouble to escape reality –
To find mends.

A room has chanting music,
Another dead silence;
But all has the same window –
Drawn by those kind hands.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.06.2018

Probably somebody popped up in my mind

Probably somebody popped up in my mind –
Among all those possibilities
Out of the void,
Among all those responsibilities
I try to avoid,
There’s a beam of trust
That holds every doubtful thing as a whole,
That gives me and only me a role,
That keeps me human after all –
Monsters must or must not be alone –
Keeping you as my mortal and eternal goal.

Benyamin Bensalah

10.10.2018