Sniff by sniff

A tick and a click are rhyming up in a lame flame,
A thick stick of dry herb is the flame’s aim,
That starts to burn and blatter in a burring pain,
Framed by a grey fog, hiding its disdain.

The mere pain of life urges this hateful act,
Looking for more pain pack by pack,
Claiming if there’s no stop, I want more of that,
Waiting and feeling and waiting and feeling,
The sniff-by-sniff approaching Death.

Benyamin Bensalah

05.10.2018

It’s not working well

It’s not working well…
My knees fell
To where
I had had a puddle.

It’s not working well…
In that puddle,
My soul should dwell,
But now, there’s a well.

It’s not working well…
In the well –
Deeping  until hell –
There’s no water.

It’s not working well…
From the hell,
Sounds come up to rebel,
Antipersonnel.

It’s not working well…
I’m unwell,
Infidel,
The well is my chapell.

Benyamin Bensalah

09.09.2018

Enraining

I’ve been in an acid rain.
From the start.
Tap-tap, tap-tap.
Every drop falls.
Through my coat.
Through my face.
Into the heart.

I’ve been sitting in a pit.
It rains sadness.
Ha-ha, ha-ha.
Every drop laughes.
Into my ears.
Into my soul.
Through madness.

I’ve been waiting death.
To come.
Tak-tak, tak-tak.
I can’t wait.
In the years.
In the pains.
How long they last.

Benyamin Bensalah

20.11.2016

Freest state

Stack my years behind me and those in front,
Rush then with them to a battlefront
That ends in a mass grave.

Stack my years and throw them into fire,
Burning a forest if there’s no hellfire
Just to make a mess.

Stack my years I lived and set them
Like dominos, then let them
To fall apart.

Stack my years in a messy writing
Needing a thousand rewriting,
Then, just delete.

Do whatever you want, please,
Just make it end, please,
Please.

Benyamin Bensalah

12.02.2020

A decade prolongation

I am hearing
about suicidal feeling
from every corner,
people living on the border
of living and dead
being depressed.

I am also seeing
people monthly leaving,
but never disappearing
in suicide attempts.

I guess I’m not healing,
but I don’t get the feeling
of regularly trying to kill
the self.

I – once I tried it,
more than a decade behind it,
and I never tried it
again.

Because
when I tried it,
I was serious about it,
and I already died in it
and I cannot be revived
again.

Benyamin Bensalah

04.02.2020

Head off

My head’s so heavy,
                                    it would tremble the ground
after a gracious swish
                                         of a guillotine.

Not a grass stills steady,
                                            not an ear stays uncovered
from the epidemic noise
                                             leaving my head.

Only god knows the loss,
                                             the caused damage
by my freeing thoughts
                                          escaping the unworldly world.

No one could count
                                    all that good I could bring
all that bad I absorbed
                                         while living.

Now, with my head low,
                                           my thoughts may find peace
on glorious gadgets
                                     far from my macabre mind.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.08.2018