A Strange generation

Camus died years ago.
I can’t be sure, even with Wikipedia.
The truth is so flexible;
every head has a couple of truths
about everything.

He died in a car accident
as it was written,
but we can’t know what’s behind –
surely, we want to hear A Story
about a strange death.

What was he thinking, planning
when he got into that car?
Would he be happy with that death?
Was he ever be happy in his life?
He was aware.

He was aware of the indifference,
insignificance of life.
This is a curse,
barely letting you fall asleep.
Awareness is awakenedness.

Having dreams is luxury
for one who’s awake of dreaming,
believing we exist
while someone who’s awake
sees we don’t.

We live and die;
laugh or cry, we die.
There’s no superior fact above
dying meaninglessly
in our own self-created scenes.

Had he ever been happy?
I ask again –
of course he had;
happiness comes up and leaves
in an absurdly meaningful moment.

That moment is absurd
because it ends.
Then, it leaves no meaning behind.
Love, wine, other hallucinogens
leave us empty as We Are.

If someone’s aware of such facts,
it doesn’t matter whether happy,
living or dead is the person
because we’ll be up to everything
and never belonging to a thing.

So, just get into that car,
send our grandson
To buy our last pack of cigarette
because what happens happens.
Then, it ends. Absurd.

Benyamin Bensalah

13.02.2020

The Mirror of Darkness

Tonight is not a particular night;
This is a night among the nights:

I woke up in the middle of darkness,
Not knowing what to do with my own darkness;
So, I lit up a cigarette and faced the mirror:
There was only darkness in the mirror,
And a half face blazing up time to time –
Sometimes, we just want something to happen, it was a time.

I was thinking of summoning Bloody Mary;
I hoped for a ghost girl appearing behind me –
Something that signs me that I’m not alone.
But, the only monster closest around me
Was me, nothing, just me alone.
No ghosts, no robbers, no Bloody Maries.

It was not new to me that monsters were not real,
But it’s always surprising that I am –
Finding myself always as my own Boogeyman.
We’re in need of Satans, devils and evil polititans
To avoid facing the mirror of darkness;
That reveals only us and us again.

These are dangerous thoughts,
Knowing about the darkness in the man;
Because we’ll see Satans, devils and evil polititans
In us, and so as in every man.
Once seen, there will be no more hiding;
We will meet darkness again and again and again.

Benyamin Bensalah

07.02.2020

An Absurd’s Conversation

Do you drink your coffee without sugar?!”
-I was asked by shock in my interrogator;
Like eating your soup without salt…
Like wearing your shoes without socks!”

I do, well, I do them all above …
-I answered with the greatest indifference;
Why are you trying to find meaning,
And pleasure in something that ends cruel?”

(End of Random Conversation)

Benyamin Bensalah

31.01.2020

A to Z, looking for happiness

Absurd thoughts coming from a spotless mind;
Burning bridges and looking sadly behind,
Crying out tissues without real issues,
Dying in seconds thinking of a muse,
Entering her life so that to leave,
Finding myself newly naive,
G spots for her pleasure,
Hiding as a treasure,
Inviting homeless,
Joking hopeless,
Killing time,
Loving by,
Mind,
Never mind,
Ol’ possibilities,
Poet communities,
Questioning taboos,
Returning to the muse,
Seeking that happiness,
Turning back cuz I’m a mess,
Unwanting to go outside of this hell,
Venting in poems there’s no one to tell,
Why I am here, I don’t know nor I do care,
X-Ray shaming clouds smoked in my despair,
You could help on me, so it will be all your fault,
Zero meaning or happiness I found just as Mersault.

Benyamin Bensalah

27.01.2020

The Seventh Seal

And when the Lamb had opened the seventh seal,
There was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour –
I did grab my last chance at God to finally feel,
But after all those fights and battles, I still was proven dour.

Never – I felt myself winning in Death’s game of chess;
Even if, I was sometimes pridefully smiling,
Just as like children feeling proudly after doing a remarkable mess;
I wanted to prove myself on Earth while God has been hiding.

All time – I left behind the ridiculous faces,
Painted with pious spirituality from random rapturous riddles
That might fuddle the painful slaves on his laces
To hear the scream of Death as dance-starting fiddles.

Oh, no – I said: Away with all the physicality,
Give me rather knowledge on my own – at least to know –
Who is God and who is Evil if they are real in reality,
To know, these faked battles against Death were not shallow.

All time, I’ve been annoyed on my road,
Though, it wasn’t Death bothering me but my own emptiness,
While others had thousands of funny wishes implored,
I only wished to fetch up with my boredom and lonliness.

Never, I gave up to call the fate upon suffering fights,
To know, whether I would bear another hit – another blow,
Then, for sure it’s my final destiny to hear how it invites:
Come, it’s the end. I know you’ve become so tired for now.

And when the Lamb had opened the seventh seal,
There was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour –
And God has been silence all since I’ve been able to hear,
Say, what’s the fate of such a terribly deaf and faithless soul?


“S.D.G” (Soli Deo Gloria) — “To God Alone the Glory”

Benyamin Bensalah

21.08.2018

Inspired by Ingmar Bergman’s movie, The Seventh Seal (1957)