Péter Závada : THE ONE I AM LOOKING FOR NOW

That you were as cold as ointments.
This was left over from that summer.
To cuddle in the shadow of your sentences,
as if under a tree.

Plus, the difference of pressure,
which turns the breath into sigh.
The problems like empty tin cans
were rattling in your chest.

I think I’m confusing you with your memory.
If I want to reach you,
I have to stretch through time
like through a mirror.

Back then you were the one
who I am looking for now.

Benyamin Bensalah

13.09.2021

Translated from the Hungarian poem of Péter Závada, “AKIT MOST KERESEK”.

Purple rage

Purple madness emerged with black death;
Drums and dulcimers are the words now that were said,
Shrilling masquerade dresses the faces,
Modern design and fool norms are the old disgraces.

Benyamin Bensalah

18.07.2018

The Flame of Life

Your colours are flames,
eating up the world to prove its own existence;
you are the living cinder on the streets’ ashes,
burning the one who seeks blindly
and warming the one who knows you;
you are the glowing smoulder at the office,
spreading sparkles all over wildly
and melting all that’s not made of steel;
then, you blaze in the empty room,
eating up your own flames,
an ocean of flowing lava’s
inside your cavity,
and now
inside my heart.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.05.2021

Evil within

I built the walls, burnt the bridges,
scorched the land, searched the witches,
ruptured the nerves, devoured the preserves,
starved the body, tortured the mind,
riped out the tongue, blinded the eyes,
left none behind, let none comeaforth,
I am alone, only of a sort;
still the enemy is knocking, mocking,
shocking, rocking,
burning, torching,
blinding, grinding,
hiding, overriding,
chasing, petrifying
within me
wherefrom I cannot flee
cannot feel
cannot live
cannot die;
and I just can’t…
anymore.

Benyamin Bensalah

06.04.2021

Charmed

Warmth fulfills this little cabin –
once again, it’s pleasing to live in;
my body, mind and heart
are enlivened by your art.

Benyamin Bensalah

30.03.2021

Covenant of convict

I feel guilty to live, I feel guilty to feel,

I feel guilty to fill in, I feel guilty to leave,

I feel guilty to be rich, I feel guilty to be in need,

I feel guilty to forbid, I feel guilty to reach

While feeling innocent in all and each.

Benyamin Bensalah

24.03.2021

Forbidden Fruit

All what you call that might be happiness
have been none just repeating shakedowns –
and this reddish fruit you call a mere edginess
is just being my only color in my grey breakdowns.

Benyamin Bensalah

07.03.2021

Mood: all for the greater good

I walked out from others’ life
out of love and care;
isn’t it time to dare
loving myself just like others?

Benyamin Bensalah

07.09.2020

Yelp

I’m at the threshold,
but the threshold of what
I cannot know;
it’s just a feeling.


I never experienced home
to say I’m at the threshold
of something, a door
to belong anywhere.


Through my life
I was alone,
struggling of myself,
and circumstances.


I found it hard
to ask for help
while I knew
there’s none.


But still, I kept
fighting down
this feeling, and
yelped at a threshold.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.08.2020

Ending envy

How I envy you all
Who can just ignore me,
Delete me from sites or apps,
Block my number and WhatsApp,
And see my face on Facebook no more
While I am glued, imprisoned with myself;
Not like you, I need to face me daily – again
And again feeling pity, disgust, nuisance, hate,
And weirdness, waiting eagerly my disappearance.

Benyamin Bensalah

20.08.2020