Drown in distractions

The thunder of music cuts the clouds
it slits, but they still
it roars, but they still
the painful clouds of clamorous silence.

The murmur of movies drains the clouds
it blurs, but they still
it rains, but they still
and each drop screams up in silence.

The clatter of glasses blows the clouds
it whirls, but they still
it dopes, but they still
and each breeze stinks nauseous silence.

The crackle of cigarettes hides the clouds
it burns, but they still
it chokes, but they still
and each ashen knock groans in silence.

The amble of paces flees the clouds
it begs, but they still
it shakes, but they still
and each painful cloud shrills in silence.

Benyamin Bensalah

15.07.2021

Déjà vu

I’ve seen my own death
an infinite time,
I’ve seen my own life
an infinite time;
all imaginary.

The escape of myself
is imaginary,
that I can belong
is imaginary;
cruel reality.

My incapacities form
this cruel reality,
my emptiness forms
this cruel reality;
pain.

All I’ve lived with
is pain,
all I’ve served
is pain;
endlessly.

I’ve seen my own life
endlessly,
I’ve seen my own death
endlessly;
as imaginary.

22.06.2021

Benyamin Bensalah

LMB

Limbic system overloads.
Memory is full.
Blocked from further access.

Living-dying continously.
Meaninglessly.
Being a spiral of humans.

Limbo painted grey realities.
Merging with the void.
Bored of facing this alone.

Benyamin Bensalah

17.06.2021

Devils may cry

My indifference surpasses Earth’s billions species,
my wild philosophies boil hotter than Venus,
my grief’s still colder than Pluto’s deepest valleys,
my carelessness embraces the whole space;
still, there’s a crying child in me
who doesn’t want more than being loved
and told motherly that this is your very place.

Benyamin Bensalah

24.04.2021

The Age of a Dragon

Time has been no more just a deception.
Where are the uncountable years on chain?
How to count the unceasable pain?
What measure can contain all the knowledge
of one’s griefing observation
on the self and what imprisons it?

The world is no more than a foolery.
All the pain grew shield on our skin, still..
Still, the scars are under our scales;
they are graved into the heart –
no teeth, no claws can defend us from;
this ruthless form is meaningless.

Life is a ceaseless demolition.
There’s no defense from this dark magic;
it creates spears and useless scales against,
then some wizardry chains us in caves
because we burnt the bridges, burnt the gates,
but weren’t we created for that?

Benyamin Bensalah

18.04.2021

Farewell

Where it will be gone
my pain
when it leaves Earth’s surface
leaves my body
leaves me?

Will it feel alone
without me
like I myself did
all the time
alone?

Will it miss me
like I did miss care
companion
belonging
in my life?

Will it miss itself
without me
like I did miss myself
all alone
on my own?

Wherever it will be
I’d like it to know
that it’s alright
and we did have
quite a road.

Benyamin Bensalah

27.03.2021

When the tooth aches too

It started with a Monday morning
that could be skipped staying snoring,
but then things might’ve been better,
and I wouldn’t have turned to this letter.

My gloomy, grumpy morning face
was unknowingly drifting to a horrid fate,
accepting calls as a working routine
like a piece of meat in an evil cuisine.

With all my soul within me burning
my already doomed stance went to turning
to be gifted a tooth aching in my mouth
just when I thought I was already way south.

The pain tortured me, in and out,
feeling just as conscious to avoid blackout;
standing-sitting, standing-sitting
while the universe kept me hitting.

I checked dentists’ numbers on the Maps,
but they were shown so far on the apps;
it was late for me already pushing the shift,
so I rather jumped down from a cliff.

You might be asking: how’s this writing;
it was my last note of whining –
for me, suicide has never been a taboo,
especially when the tooth aches too.

Benyamin Bensalah

15.03.2021