Cells, synapses and other symptoms

There’s a jail amongst the jails
inside my darkest noesis,
writing doctrines, sending mails,
formulating theses:

Why do I love you?

The thought of freedom is so sweet,
the sunshine is so teasing;
I don’t even have the time to read –
your jail is just pleasing.

Benyamin Bensalah

09.04.2021

False Reality

The years are already blurry.
They create a false reality,
my mind. I don’t trust what it is saying though
like problems will disappear by tomorrow.

As a naive child, I hope so too
that I will live, and it is true
that I will see a tiny part of happiness.
I might clean my sight from stress.

I want to see it, but I can’t
because I know it wasn’t meant.
As if there were no tomorrow, it’s in hurry,
this decade is leaving me with a quick sorry.

I’m lost in the dark and I’m afraid;
I myself got myself chained,
and I know I could be anything better
if my light had just a bit flattered.

Alone, on the last word’s right,
I say I won’t reach more height
because here, even my self-hero flees
from my false realities.

Benyamin Bensalah

27.03.2021

Weakling creeking

*the door creeks*

“Ah, I’ve been waiting it for weeks.”

“It’s surely the Reaper, my ordered undertaker.”

*waiting for nothing*

“Maybe, he has another job. The door creeked, but he sent one of his slow helldog to do the job.”

*the void avoids my thoughts*

“Hellhound or a fluffy bunny, stop me feeling so numbly dummy!”

“Somebody, take my thoughts and take my voice! Don’t let it to be my choice.”

*waiting*

*no creeking*

Benyamin Bensalah

28.06.2018

FML Alchemy

“Humankind cannot gain anything
without first giving something in return.
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
That is Alchemy’s first law of Equivalent Exchange.”

We start to live with full enthusiasm,
We get on high hopes a time to times,
We fall in love without expectations
Without nowing the prices.

Even saying:
Cheerly, dearly, fairly Mary –
Don’t fuck me up
I ask you dearly.

Human hearts were born to change,
You’ll be always out of range.
If it’s not change, something other,
Nothing goes in your order.

One smile a day keeps Death away,
but every single smile
makes you suffer a longer awhile,
crying rivers of a mile.

Life wasn’t meant to enjoy anyway:
Eat, survive, reproduce;
Why would you need other uses?
Your kind fairly reproduces.

Thinking, loving and other’s that unlisted
are the extras that are twisted;
pay the price of any pression –
reclamation’s out of question.

Smell in the air, see your level,
and be ready to reproduce –
Or live as you want, thinking Hegel,
but be ready to lose, lose, lose.

These are the rules of Freaking Equivalence;
Everything is in an Absurd Balance –
You’re on one side, but there’s another;
You quit or lose, none’s to bother.

Benyamin Bensalah

13.03.2021

Ending envy

How I envy you all
Who can just ignore me,
Delete me from sites or apps,
Block my number and WhatsApp,
And see my face on Facebook no more
While I am glued, imprisoned with myself;
Not like you, I need to face me daily – again
And again feeling pity, disgust, nuisance, hate,
And weirdness, waiting eagerly my disappearance.

Benyamin Bensalah

20.08.2020