Void

I’ve seen the light as a nameless kitten –
One amongst many of a couple,
I still remember the care of my mother
Even if there was no time to cuddle.

It was the time my eyes just opened –
Without seeing play and cheer,
Just a couple of months before
Our little mother did dissapear.

Remained alone, me and my brothers –
Day and night we feared dogs,
Then, just like our weakling mother,
Hunger kicked us out of the box.

                        ***

I became a lone-wolf street-cat –
Walking from alley to alley,
Living on the waste of others’,
But I had a change of story.

One night, I met a grey figure –
Sitting at the pavement,
He looked on me with silent care,
And took me to his apartment.

I got a home under his bookshelf –
Full of Nietzsche and Freud,
The grey fellow fed me with milk
and named me: Void.

                        ***

The years went quickly like days –
My man was a strange one,
Sometimes sad, sometimes moody,
But we had a lot of fun.

There was always a weekly party –
With philosopher friends;
I myself was a part of this,
I wished it never ends.

On the nights, everyone was happy –
People laughing overjoyed,
Talking longly seriously, then laughing:
“Look, there’s looking us Void!!”

                        ***

I was always waiting the weekly parties –
Tho I also liked the silent nights,
Sitting next to my reading thinker
Hushing away his sighs.

One night, the party friends didn’t come –
There was a woman instead,
I spent such nights under the sky
While they were in bed.

Firstly, I was still happy for this –
Seeing my man ever happy,
But once the woman didn’t come,
The house became an alley.

                        ***

Silence sat on our days with my man-
Greyness stole all his delight,
I couldn’t hush away any of his sighs,
He didn’t read or write.

One night, I came home from roaming –
I was terribly hungry then,
Found my milk and food prepared,
But without signs of my man.

The house seemed and sounded empty –
I felt my man, but I was annoyed;
So I found him hanging from the ceiling,
Wishing I was never named Void.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.08.2020

Evening pictures

Dark urban quarter,
Been beehive in elder
days, now valleys.

I’m wandering wondering
Why others are waiting living,
I’m just fine.

Betwixt silent walls,
I’m running from wars,
Like a rabid rabbit.

Time is spending elsewhere,
But shatters the dark shelter-
By a song of bing-bong.

I must sense midnight,
Deeply asleep every light,
But mine is deeper.

I walk like a thief
with a perfect relief,
To be hidden.

Wearing a mask is wrong;
While the darkness I belong,
No mascarade.

By evil omens covered,
But no man got bothered,
In any side.

Being is a game of dice,
Here, guaranteed no nice
For you, nor for me.

I’m feel near the void;
Whether I should avoid
it, that I merit.

Where nobody walks,
There’s the Death; stalks
For my soul.

Perhaps, now, finally,
I undress the ever boundary,
Between me and the world.

I’d offer my soul,
The soul of ghoul,
But not today.

We’ve just started living,
Lights flare away the evening;
End of my day.

Benyamin Bensalah

07.05.2018

Translated from my Hungarian poem, “Kis esti képek” (2009).

Kill myself or have a coffee?

Should I look for meaning in life if I know
I am following my own product?
Kill or beget; we are all following a flow –
Myself, I am barely able to deduct
Or anticipate the so-called reality I undergo.
Have I missed an important act?
A purpose I should have known a long ago?
Cup all of my years in your hands as a fact
Of that I was living, and throw ’em with a blow;
Coffee and cigarettes will distract me while you’re doing so.

(Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? – Albert Camus)

Benyamin Bensalah

03.05.2020

Vacuum


Many questions have been raised on my nature
The most of them by myself, but also by people;
The funny thing in the huge number the questions assume:
They can be answered by one word: Vacuum.

From those questions, some may please me
Like “What art are those that may lead thee?”
Or “What limit has been reached by your knowledge?”;
They are rare but I like when I’m asked on my storage.

While there are questions I barely like
Like “Why are you a person whom we barely like?”
Or “Why are you so different and not alike?”;
Let’s answer them by a single strike:

My nature is like the nature’s nature:
There’s no place where’s no creature;
So, what I’m fighting is what the nature’s fighting,
Where is darkness there must be lighting:

Vacuum, I’m all fulfilled with emptiness,
If there’s ten planets I need a twentieth,
I wish to fulfill my eager to be fulfilled
Even if by the pressure of that knowledge I’ll be killed.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.04.2019

Caven

The absence of flames rips my chest off
Like a dark cave craving for a torch,
In it, a heart-formed obsidian,
Clinging to the cold
In timelessness,
While lacks and wants
Battle to grant drum and rum,
The flames of haram, burning in emptiness.

Benyamin Bensalah

12.01.2019