I trusted only myself from the beginning –
if you have nothing, the cost will be willing
for the man. In no way it will be more
than for the animal that dropped not living anymore.
Even if I was scared, I found my stand-
I was born, I mingled and I did out-stand.
I even paid everyone just as was the measure,
who gave it for free, I accepted with pleasure.
Women, if I was play-toy for any of their flattery:
I believed it really – let them be happy!
I scrubbed ships, pulling buckets as my only tool.
Among smart gentlemen, I played the fool.
I sold spinners, breads and books,
newspapers, poems – whenever what smooths.
Not in a glorious combat, not on a gentle rope,
but I end up in a bed, sometimes I hope.
Either way, now the inventory is ready.
I lived – and even others have died in it already.
Translated from the Hungarian poem of Attila Jozsef, “Kész a leltár” (1936).
Stack my years behind me and those in front,
Rush then with them to a battlefront
That ends in a mass grave.
Stack my years and throw them into fire,
Burning a forest if there’s no hellfire
Just to make a mess.
Stack my years I lived and set them
Like dominos, then let them
To fall apart.
Stack my years in a messy writing
Needing a thousand rewriting,
Then, just delete.
Do whatever you want, please,
Just make it end, please,
It’s said: there’s a God
Everything in six days and rested…
I don’t want this theory to be tested,
But the copyright on his days is quite divested:
(Two more Babylonian lines
For a Moon-phase advertise’ …)
Sunday – Norse goddess,
Chased by Hate, son of the grotesque
Moonday – Sun’s brother,
Also dog-chased, but not bothered until
Tiw’s day – the dueling Mars,
But not making too many wars with hands
Odin’s day – deathly Mercury,
Nothing makes him more hurry than
Thor’s Day – thundering Jupiter,
Famously he’s a soul-janitor just as his dad,
Freya’s day – our sweet Venus,
Every man is dying just to reach her..
Saturn’s day – the god of time,
Known as Cronos with a scythe, eating
The more I’m looking for meaning in this life,
The more I end up saying: where’s your God now?
‘One’ for every human variables,
‘Zero’ for all how I care,
‘One’ for every feelings on the world,
‘Zero’ I understood or cared.
Once life must end in general,
Zero counts all my care,
One variable’s life in the mass
Zeroed in matter of fare.
in a corner
I try to escape
in grandmaster games
I try to avoid
at his inquest
my peace of mind
out of wedlock
I miscredit judgments from
among whole numbers
my death will be
How many times I wished to be dumb and dull
As some sort of donkey;
Eating my favorite hay-made cereals,
Wearing my favorite kind of donkey pantaloon and jacket,
And saying “Heyyya!” to people all of my like.
Simple minds dress the world in sugarcoats
With simple likes and simple hates;
Only a simple-minded person can enjoy
Things that are foolish, immoral and fits no
Functional reasons except of socialness.
This is a natural behavior among beings
To look for each other and harness the environment;
I’ve never been judging on this
As I said, it’s rather an envy
For being simple, but sad and happy.
When you start harnessing the mind
Instead of the surrounding space and time,
You will see that space and time are not real;
They are relative as your importance
In this world.
Your eyes will stop seeing and start understanding
Causes and Effects, Chain-reactions, Patterns;
Your life will be just a pattern in the absurd
That knows no sad or happy observation,
You will only see a disorder.