Hoppety voosh

Even my scars are from hard work,
not from blades,
I wear a wide smile all the time,
not crying for anyone,
my body is so pure and kind,
but my soul’s spoiled.

How to express I’m depressed?
I’m copying with happiness.
How to express I’m oppressed?
I can only flex.
Who would understand these all?
I’m in a constant fall.

I’m lost in a way that there’s no way;
I see colours, but everything’s grey.
I can say hey, but not tomorrow;
I am stucked up in my sorrow.
I would borrow… someone,
but… I’m already gone.

Benyamin Bensalah

10.04.2021

Pocket bard

It’s neither my pleasure, nor my style,
but I’ve been drinking for a while.
We already know it why:
some nights are just too heavy being dry.

I had been suffering and crying
even before alcoholic supplying,
but since I have it
I say: freck it.

I’m not looking for acceptance;
I hate myself even in this stance,
but surely I am passing time,
and I find words for my rhyme.

My dear Lord, Dionysus,
is tottaly not like Jesus;
he lets me do my own sacrifice,
and eases me directly by the price.

How should I thank him more
than just live and drink a bit more?
Life is hard even as a drunkard,
but it’s the life of a pocket bard.

Benyamin Bensalah

05.04.2021

Pooethics

Here’s the fellow who’s not mellow
Anymore
I’m born rotten and forgotten
Anyway
I had had poems, kind of solemn
Anyhow
But here I am with crying rhyming
Anywhere
I’m good in bad moods and vice versa
Anywise
I tried to be a smartass, but proven the least smartest
Anywhen
I’m still unknowing, and not going
Anywhither
I’m a born clown, pulling down
Anybody
I’m in a vortex, out of context
Anyplace
I can’t heal, I can’t feel
Anything
I’m surely nut and I am not
Anyone.

Benyamin Bensalah

01.04.2021

A night for drinks and drinks for every night

Tonight is one of the nights –
I’m not open to hear wrongs or rights
about anything what’s going on,
but I could expect respect that I still carry on.

Some drinks are down on my throat,
some ethanol is pumpin through my mind,
some lines are too cloudy that I wrote,
but I’m still not acting like I do mind.

It’s still me, and I do like you –
why can’t you do the same though?
With infinite conditions, there’s none;
none matters, but it does when we’re gone.

Harvest the moments of the others,
you may get more care from them than from mothers
because every ape have problems,
but very few ones wait you at the bottoms.

I might write about things very deep,
but it’s still floating on the very surface;
you can freely call me a creep,
but I really mean every word that I can face.

I feel terrible every day;
you can compare it to some fuck’d up weeks
where you try every ways,
but things go like it’s been Greeks.

I lived the seven hells and heavens,
I lived with peace and almost all the weapons;
I know it when it never ends well,
and I know when you don’t even know what to tell.

But the drinks help me at some nights;
let me, this psycho just writes;
killing feelings that were unbearable,
wearing them sober even if unwearable.

Like the coat of solitude,
like the pants of tight social restricts;
I wore every way that’s rude,
but I’m still living – one of the addicts.

Like a dragonfly that lives only a day,
I live every day just as my last;
somtimes hunter – sometimes prey, it’s never gray;
I will end all like this night: in a colorful blast.

Benyamin Bensalah

01.04.2021

When everybody goes to sleep

When everybody goes to sleep,
here I am me, all alone
with the only company, my phone
that doesn’t pop up, doesn’t beep.

When everybody goes to sleep,
here I am me, on my own
with the only company, the phone
that knocks up all the deep.

When everybody goes to sleep,
here I am me, on my throne
with having the world that others don’t
that none would like just a creep.

When everybody goes to sleep,
here I am me, being thrown
with company as a phone
that goes into the dark to sweep.

When everybody goes to sleep,
here I am me, the sweeping clown,
cleaning my own comfort zone
from awareness that’s never asleep.

Benyamin Bensalah

24.03.2021

FML Alchemy

“Humankind cannot gain anything
without first giving something in return.
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
That is Alchemy’s first law of Equivalent Exchange.”

We start to live with full enthusiasm,
We get on high hopes a time to times,
We fall in love without expectations
Without nowing the prices.

Even saying:
Cheerly, dearly, fairly Mary –
Don’t fuck me up
I ask you dearly.

Human hearts were born to change,
You’ll be always out of range.
If it’s not change, something other,
Nothing goes in your order.

One smile a day keeps Death away,
but every single smile
makes you suffer a longer awhile,
crying rivers of a mile.

Life wasn’t meant to enjoy anyway:
Eat, survive, reproduce;
Why would you need other uses?
Your kind fairly reproduces.

Thinking, loving and other’s that unlisted
are the extras that are twisted;
pay the price of any pression –
reclamation’s out of question.

Smell in the air, see your level,
and be ready to reproduce –
Or live as you want, thinking Hegel,
but be ready to lose, lose, lose.

These are the rules of Freaking Equivalence;
Everything is in an Absurd Balance –
You’re on one side, but there’s another;
You quit or lose, none’s to bother.

Benyamin Bensalah

13.03.2021

Pre-sent

How? What? Why? I really dunno –
Though my life was already ready to go;
Drama, drama and goddamn traumas –
These drums are drumming under all my Sagas;
Dive and rise, dive and rise are all my rhymes –
These tenses tensed me all the times;
Crawling, falling, crawling, falling in a row –
Bowling the same boulder with a giant crow;
Wishing – hissing this has been such an Epic –
But despite all the witting, been just pathetic;
Missing love and dissing care –
Unlovable, self-aware;
Out of context just as sex –
My mental shutdowns just multiplex;
No social circles, nor any goals –
On my knowledge bigass holes;
Body? Housing? Dare to diss that thing? –
I’ve never been else than disgusting;
I tried to ignore, tried to die –
But I failed even to cry;
My nerves served me only disconcert –
Awkward, harmful as pervert;
I’d blame gods or Darwin’s words –
But it still constantly hurts;
I should quit and I am closing –
My life is the best thing for losing;
Even the thought is so pleasant –
No more drums of past and present;
No more future unpleasant Pre-sent.

Benyamin Bensalah

11.03.2021

Drunken Vibe Edit

I’m sober like Piza’s tower’s straight,
Appreciate! ’cause I tried it, mate;
Like I said the worldly world is doggy doggy,
Don’t get surprised when you’re in an in ill-meant doggie.

I just tried life, but I did my best as newbie,
No one loved me, but it’s okie –
I have my drinks and the escorting soda,
I’m still wise looking just as Yoda.

I’ve no prophecies, no fear, bro;
I’ve got no ads, just go with the flow;
If you can’t bear the shit you are through,
Just have some drinks to make blur your view.

People are cruel, brutal and even more,
Black and white’s fine, but not a so-called colour
Because what is happy is heretic;
Deep down, every person speaks Arabic.

They say it’s Haram to have my rum,
but expect me to stay dumb
When they say life is a testing process,
not a meaningless toxic mess.

Benyamin Bensalah

09.03.2021.