What a bad habit

…that drinking ruins my life?
Hah, already ruined,
and the simple fact that I’m alive
is already a part of paying the price.

Actually, there are days I can live
with the thought of myself,
and also there are when I have no money,
so my drinking is in balance.

But… if you mentioned drinking,
could you lend me some pennies?
You know, I’m a bit short of…
…reason to live.

Benyamin Bensalah

30.11.2020

Seek and Hide

Hide and then seek again,
Play and then re-play again,
Talk and then meet up again,
Learn and then take exam again,
Work and then change work again,
Buy things and then buy more things;
Infinite loop of doings
With finite scope of ownings
of the last peekaboo,
of the last win with value,
of the last astonishing taboo,
of the last bought thing seen as new,
of the last intercourse we are able to do
Leading to play and don’t play again,
Breathe and don’t breathe again,
Seek meaning that hides again,
After days until a day again,
Till not waking up again.

Benyamin Bensalah

06.10.2020

Let it hurt if it has to hurt

My heart is an empty stack,
For what, only myself deserves smack,
But it hurts.

Whoever falls into it
Will hang with me in it,
Such as: but it hurts!

My life’s a lifeless winter,
It’s snowing my head so sinister,
But it hurts.

My venom broke out if it would dare,
If there were anger, would you dare,
A lord of pain who hurts.

Although fate would finally give a way,
I’m not waiting only to give away,
So, let it hurt if it has to hurt.

Benyamin Bensalah

29.12.2017

Translated from my Hungarian poem, “Fájjon ha fájni kell.”

When you are not needed

When you are not needed,
You just make up things,
When you are not needed,
Things fulfill your days,
When you are not needed,
Dreams are just some things,
When you are not needed,
Things are just distractions,
When you are not needed,
Goals are just made up things,
When you are not needed,
Things are just frustrations,
When you are not needed,
Nights reaveal there are no things,
When you are not needed,
Things just fall apart,
When you are not needed,
You just wait the end of made up things.

Benyamin Bensalah

17.09.2020

The fight of life

Nothing matters in this life,
Just to show up yourself in the strife.
A win could easily satisfy,
A brute who’s familiar with the vie.

A lose hardly fags out a fag,
Who has friend and facebook tag.
Nothing matters in that strife,
Just to get out of it damn alive.

Dying is fair deal for a lame,
Who doesn’t fit this fighting game.
Also living makes little sense,
With victorious sadness in the glance.

Nothing matters in this life,
Only-only if one matters in the life.
Nothing matters in this strife,
Only-only if one matters in the strife.

Benyamin Bensalah

18.04.2016

Hand in hand dreamwalking in insomnia

The poorest person’s the one who can’t dream,
but the poor are also the most creative;
I’ve just created a dream around her,
visiting her in her dream,
telling her the truths
that an awake
couldn’t
bear.

It was the most beautiful dream I’ve never had,
since it lived on our sometime memories;
when I had had someone caring,
and having been imagining
that she’s still here,
here to hear.

Benyamin Bensalah

14.09.2020

Pierre Reverdy : Late in life

I’m hard

I’m tender
  
                             and I lost my time
                             dreaming without sleeping
                             sleeping while walking

wherever I passed by
I found my absence
I am nowhere

Except the nothingness
but I’m hiding at the top of the bowels
At the place where the lightning has hit too often
a heart where every word left its keenness
and where my life drops to the slightest move.

Benyamin Bensalah

13.09.2020

Translated from the French poem of Pierre Reverdy, “Tard dans la vie”(1960).